Chapter: 1 – I Get Around
Type: Criminal Minds, Hotch/Prentiss.
Spoilers: Nothing specific at this point in time.
Disclaimer: I own nothing but an over-active mind and a verging-on-pathetic love for the H/P ship lol.
Summary: Companion piece to Dressed to Impress, but if you know the prompt that one was written about, you probably won’t be too lost without having read it lol. Possibly multi-chap. Partial AU.
A/N: I was really wishy washy about whether or not to write this, hence why it’s obviously being posted a little later than originally intended lol, but after much discussion, it was decided that I need to learn to write for myself and if other people like it, that’s just a bonus. So while I’m still not 100% sure writing this is a good idea, it’s my homework for therapy this week lol so I’m making a go of it. Each chap will most likely be inspired by a different song I like, because I find it easier having a sort of prompt to help me move things in the direction I want. I make no promises on how long this will continue, or rather, how long I will continue to update it, because I honestly haven’t decided exactly how I want this storyline to go yet. I have a few markers with songs I’ve already chosen, but there are a lot of gaps to be filled in before I’ll have a solid grasp on it.
Also, please note that for the purposes of this fic, Jack and Hayley do not exist. As much as I love little Jack, I think I’m bound to run out of plausible reasons for why he’s never home lol so I think it’ll be better to take an AU route where Hotch was never married.
Emily sat alone at the bar, mindlessly tapping her glass as she surveyed the scene around her. JJ was dancing with Will, Garcia was dancing with Kevin, Morgan was dancing with several girls, and Reid was off in a corner booth performing magic tricks for a small but rapt audience. She’d lost sight of Rossi quite some time ago, so that just left her. Alone. On New Year’s Eve.
Every single woman’s least favourite scenario.
Despite trying to think about anything else, her mind kept drifting back to Hotch. Not surprisingly, it had become a bit of a habit since the Christmas Party. Everything between them was practically the same. They didn’t speak any differently to each other, they still worked well together, there was no unnecessary physical contact; all in all, she thought they were doing quite well at pretending nothing had happened.
Well, he was doing quite well. In fact, she’d be lying if she said she wasn’t a little irked at how easily he seemed to put it behind them. She had expected such a reaction – or lack thereof – but it still bothered her just a bit, because she wished it was that simple for her. While it was business as usual for him, she had caught herself watching him when he wasn’t looking on more than one occasion. She dreamt about their encounter every night, and worst of all, she wanted to do it again.
In hindsight, she should have realized that being with him would only intensify her crush instead of easing it…oh, who was she kidding? She’d known that all along and done it anyways. Yet another item to add to her list: Stupid Things Emily Prentiss Does Despite Knowing Better.
Fucking her boss in his office. That was certainly a new one.
Tonight was the first time, however, that she felt a glimmer of hope that maybe he thought about it too. She was willing to bet that she was the real reason he hadn’t come out with them tonight. They’d been there for an hour and he still hadn’t arrived, so she’d asked if anyone had heard from him.
“I had a message from him,” JJ had said, “he’s not well, and is just going to stay home.”
While JJ was obviously reciting his message word for word, Emily was pretty sure it was a lie. Maybe she was being ridiculous, but she was getting the feeling that he was hiding from her. Not that she blamed him. The whole thing had started when she kissed him under the mistletoe, so she could certainly understand him wanting to avoid the traditional New Year’s Eve ‘kiss at midnight’.
Now she wondered why he was so desperate to avoid it. Was he worried about how to turn her down, or worried about what might happen if he didn’t? She certainly hoped it was the latter, but she couldn’t ignore the lingering fear that she was reading it the wrong way.
Suddenly Emily didn’t feel like celebrating anymore. She threw some cash on the bar, then grabbed her coat and purse and slipped out the front door. She’d rather ring in the year at home with Sergio and the Times Square broadcast than alone in a bar, pining over her boss.
She may have screwed up the end of 2011, but she could still try to start fresh in 2012.
Confetti fell and happy couples kissed on the screen before him as the ball touched down in New York City. And while the people on the TV were enjoying their company and the fabulous celebration, Hotch sat alone on his couch, wishing he was somewhere else. It wasn’t that he hadn’t wanted to go out with everyone tonight, he just didn’t trust himself around Emily when there was bound to be romance all around them. He knew word of the mistletoe incident had spread through the team – though they were careful not to talk about it too loudly when he was around – and he suspected there would be a conspiracy to re-create it tonight. On one hand he felt a little silly for being so paranoid, but on the other, he certainly wouldn’t put it past them.
He had just turned off the TV and gotten up to clean off the coffee table when there was a knock at his door. He wasn’t expecting any visitors tonight, especially not this late. Quietly, he approached the door and took a quick look through the peephole. He wasn’t sure if he was relieved or more anxious after seeing who it was.
Seconds to your elevator from the station
How can I resist that kind of invitation?
Hotch slid the lock open and, with a deep breath, swung open the door.
“Prentiss. What brings you here?”
He swallowed hard. God, she looked amazing. The smoky eyes, to the little black dress her open coat revealed, all the way down to the matching pumps. She was going to be his downfall. He just knew it.
“Why didn’t you come out tonight?” she asked bluntly.
Oh crap. He had definitely not been prepared to have this conversation. He should have known she wouldn’t believe the sick story, and even if she did, she’d probably come by anyways to make sure he was okay. But that was his story, and he was sticking to it.
“I wasn’t feeling well. JJ should have said something – I told her I wasn’t coming.”
“I know.” She looked over his shoulder and raised an eyebrow sceptically, “Do you always have pizza and beer when you’re sick?”
Shit. The coffee table.
“I was feeling better,” he said. She would never buy it, but he didn’t know what else to say.
“Did you stay home because of me?”
“No.” It didn’t sound convincing, not even to him.
“Do you really want to start off your year by lying to me five minutes into it?”
Hotch sighed, “No.”
“Am I why you stayed home tonight?”
Emily flinched almost imperceptibly, “Why?”
He shifted, “I’m not sure this is the appropriate time to be having this conversation.”
“Come on, Hotch. I think we both know that this conversation will never happen if it doesn’t happen now.”
“I don’t know what to tell you,” he said.
“Do you regret it?”
“No. Yes… no. No. Do you?”
“No. Did you think I did?”
“I wasn’t sure.”
“Was that the problem?” she pressed.
“Then what is?”
“I just...” Hotch sighed, “I don’t know what to do with what happened between us. I’m not the kind of person who does that type of thing, and neither are you. I don’t know how to be that kind of person.”
“Why do you have to be? I don’t want you to be someone else around me. You seemed okay with me at work so what, you just don’t want to be around me a second longer than you have to?”
It pained him to hear the hurt in her voice. “It’s not like that.”
“I don’t even know why I came here,” she muttered, turning on her heel, “I should have just gone home.”
He caught her hand and as he dragged her around to face him, he stepped forward. Their bodies collided in the same moment his lips captured hers.
She should push him away. She knew that. She should push him away and get the hell out of there. But she didn’t. Instead, she melted into him, opening her mouth to his with a soft moan. He was slowly moving backwards, blindly leading her inside, and she followed willingly. She heard the door close behind them, but she abandoned the thought when her coat hit the ground and he began to unzip her dress.
I know your friends and you know mine too
You don’t tell on me, I won’t tell on you
They stumbled clumsily through the apartment, bumping into walls and furniture along the way to his bedroom. There they finally separated long enough for her to pull his t-shirt off and let her dress to slide to the floor. She wanted to slow things down but if they had a chance to stop and think, one or both of them might have second thoughts. Instead, she hastily pulled his sweatpants down and popped the clasp on her bra, tossing it aside.
His hands moved to cup her, his thumbs teasing her nipples until they hardened under his touch. Hotch pinched them lightly, and a spike of arousal shot straight to her core at the delicious combination of pleasure and pain. Her eyes closed and her head fell back, giving him the perfect opportunity to kiss and nip his way down her neck. Gently he pushed her down on the bed and encouraged her to lie back while he continued his exploration. His mouth made a quick path down her body, pausing to lavish attention on her breasts and then again when he reached the last piece of lace she still wore.
Her quick, shallow breathing was the only sound in the room. He was so close to where she wanted him most. Clenching the sheets in her fists, she fought the urge to forcefully guide his head between her legs.
“Please,” she panted.
Using his teeth he dragged her panties down at a painstakingly slow pace, teasing her just a little longer before complying. He nudged her thighs further apart before he finally dipped down to taste her. Licking and sucking, he relished every pleasurable gasp and every whisper of his name. He loved the way she said his name; wanted to hear her scream it aloud when she came.
Demanding fingers tugged at his hair, inciting him to come back to her mouth. She moaned when she tasted herself on his lips. Slipping a hand between them, Emily closed her fingers around him. She stroked him firmly to the rhythm of their tongues sensuously caressing one another. When she felt he was getting close, she lined him up with her core. He locked eyes with her, waiting for her nod before he slid into her tight, wet heat.
It was even better than he remembered. Hotch was sure nothing would ever top the overwhelming feeling of being inside her. He tried to start out slow but she matched every thrust, her breathless whimpers of pleasure spurring him on. Pounding into her relentlessly, he felt her begin to tighten around him as her cries grew louder. Her nails dug into his back but the sting of pain just aroused him more.
Her climax was approaching with astounding intensity and she couldn’t hold back any longer. “So close,” she gasped, “Come with me.”
Seconds later she reached her frenzied peak, screaming his name as wave after wave of pleasure raced through her body. The overpowering sensations of her orgasm snapped his last thread of control and he surrendered to his own explosive release.
Out of breath, he rolled his weight to the side, but still held her close. He kept her back pressed against his chest, draping an arm around her. As his heart rate was slowing, his mind was spinning. What the hell just happened? When did his self-control become so paper thin? There was no way this arrangement could end well, and he wasn’t sure a relationship between them could work. Hell, he wasn’t even sure if she wanted anything more to come from this. It was best to make a clean break; let them both escape relatively unscathed and before either became emotionally invested.
He didn’t want to say it. He really, really didn’t. But it was the right thing to do. “This can’t happen again,” he said quietly.
She was thankful that he couldn’t see the rush of unexpected tears that threatened to break free. “I know.”
It was barely a whisper, but she knew he heard it.
Quietly slide away off the mattress
Find my clothing on the bedpost
So I tip-toe out of this mess
As I slip back in to last night’s dress
Biting down on her lip, Emily struggled to keep her feelings under wraps. She tried to stay perfectly still and regulate her breathing. When she was sure he had fallen asleep, she carefully extracted herself from his embrace. The cold air of the room was a stark contrast to the warmth of being in his arms and immediately she missed the contact. It was fitting, she supposed, of the harsh reality check she’d received.
Emily redressed as quickly as she could, trying to avoid thinking about how awful it made her feel to leave like this. Her compartmentalization was failing, and she had to get out while she still had some semblance of control. She silently moved through the apartment picking up the purse, coat, and shoes that had been abandoned along the way. When she was finally outside the door, she pulled out her key ring. The spare keys they all had were meant to be used for emergencies only, but she didn’t like the idea of leaving his door unlocked. They’d already made exceptions to some personal rules tonight, so she was sure he wouldn’t mind.
At last, Emily finally reached the sanctuary of an empty elevator and as the doors closed before her, the tears finally spilled onto her cheeks. She hated herself for it. She couldn’t even remember the last time she cried over a guy. Then again, Hotch wasn’t just any guy…which is why she should have stayed away. But she was stubborn. Too stubborn to even listen to her own better judgement. So she held on, hoping things would somehow work themselves out, but that was foolishly naïve. It was the same mistake she had made over and over when she was younger: believing that sooner or later, the physical action would lead to someone returning her feelings.
Now here she was, repeating the pattern. She was disappointed in herself for going back to her old ways. Had she learned nothing?
Emily had set herself up to fall yet again, and she had no one to blame but herself.
A/N: This ended a lot more angsty than I intended, but whatever. I suspect that Emily may seem a little OOC, but I personally feel like she’s a lot more emotional than she lets on. She has such expressive eyes. Yeah, I might have a small girl-crush on Paget lol, deal with it. Anyways, yeah. Hoping to continue with this if there’s interest in me doing so.
Big thanks to floatingamoeba for being my beta, despite our ship differences lol.
If anyone is wondering, the lyrics are from the song “I Get Around” by Dragonette.